Posted on March 15, 2015 by Rich Wendling
I hate tomatoes, both yellow and red.
If I got them at school, I would give them to Fred.
I like them in ketchup; I like them in soup,
But plain old tomatoes? I rather eat poop.
My parents, they like them; my brother does, too.
Instead of tomatoes, I’d rather eat glue.
I originally wrote this in the fourth grade, circa 1971-72. My teacher made me change the word “poop” to “goop.” I’ve changed it back.
Filed under: Poetry | Tagged: Humor, Poetry, tomatoes | 1 Comment »
Posted on February 15, 2012 by Rich Wendling
There once was a woman named Old Mrs. Biddle.
She liked to cook tacos with bugs in the middle.
She cooked them in grease on an old, rusty griddle.
A typical dinner by Old Mrs. Biddle.
Several years ago, there was an ad in the newspaper – “Send us your poem, and we’ll evaluate it for FREE” (or something like that). So, I spent almost five minutes writing this little ditty, and I sent it in. A few weeks later, I received a letter telling me that my poem was so good, they wanted to publish it – for FREE. And, I could purchase the book, for only $49.99 (plus shipping and handling). So, I let them publish it.
After the book was published, I received a letter from the National Poet’s Hall of Fame (or some such organization) offering me a life-time membership – for only $49.99 (plus shipping and handling for the certificate).
A few months later, the National Poet’s Hall of Fame (or some such organization) sent me an exclusive offer to have my poem recorded as a country-western song by Jimmy-Joe Jones (or some such singer), all for the low price of only $49.99 (plus shipping and handling for the CD).
I guess I should have been a poet, but I didn’t know it. (Or, something like that.)
Filed under: Humor, Poetry | Tagged: absurd, Poetry | 1 Comment »