The Door-to-Door Bible Salesmen

A pastor determined that his church was getting into very severe financial troubles.  While checking the church basement, he discovered several cartons of brand new Bibles that had never been opened.

So during his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who would sell the Bibles door-to-door for $10 each to raise the desperately needed funds for the church.

Ralph, Thomas and Eddie all raised their hands to volunteer for the job.

The pastor knew that Ralph and Thomas were professional salesmen and were quite able to sell some Bibles. But he had serious reservations about Eddie, who had always kept to himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment. Poor Eddie stuttered badly. But, not wanting to discourage Eddie, the pastor decided to let him try anyway.

He sent the three of them away with cases of Bibles. He asked them to meet with him and report the results of their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday.

Anxious to find out how effective they were, the pastor asked Ralph, “Well, Ralph, how did you do selling our Bibles last week?”

Proudly handing the pastor an envelope, Ralph replied, “Using my sales expertise, I was able to sell 20 Bibles, and here’s the $200 I collected in support of the church.”

“Fine job, Ralph!” the pastor said, energetically shaking his hand.
“You are indeed a fine salesman and the Church is indebted to you.”
Turning to Thomas, “And Thomas, how many Bibles did you sell for the
Church last week?”

Thomas, smiling and sticking out his chest, proudly replied, “I am a professional salesman… I sold 28 Bibles for the church, and here’s $280 I collected.”

The pastor responded, “That’s quite impressive, Thomas. You are truly an expert salesman and the church is grateful to you.”

Uneasily, the pastor turned to Eddie and said, “And Eddie, did you manage to sell any Bibles last week?” Eddie handed the pastor a large envelope. The pastor opened it and counted the contents. “What is this? Eddie, there’s $3200 in here! Are you telling me that you sold 320 Bibles for the church, door to door, in just one week?”

Eddie just nodded.

That’s preposterous!” Ralph and Thomas exclaimed. “We’re professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10 times as many Bibles as we could.”

“Yes, this does seem dubious,” the pastor agreed. “I think you’d better explain how you managed to achieve this, Eddie.”

Eddie shrugged. “I-I-I re-re-really do-do-don’t kn-kn-know f-f-f-for sh-sh-sh-sure,” he stammered.

Impatiently, Ralph interrupted. “For crying out loud, Eddie, just tell us what you said to them when they answered the door!”

“A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was,” Eddie replied,
“W-w-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-Bible f-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks ——o-o-o-or——– wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and r-r-r-r-r-read it t-to y-y-you??”

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